Wednesday, May 27, 2015

I have a story to tell you about a dead possum : Also Hollywood Thursday & Santa Monica Saturday

Thursday, May 28th
Sassafras Saloon, 1233 N. Vine St. Hollywood 90038
9:30-11:30, Free!

Saturday, May 30th
O'Brien's On Main, 2941 Main St. Santa Monica, CA 90405
Free!



I have a story to tell you about a dead possum...
I never leave my phone in my bedroom cuz like I don't care if someone dies. Well I care, but if they're dead I could find out when I wake up and that would probably be better anyway. At least I could sleep.
But I thought this chick might call me. So for the 1st time in years, I brought my phone in my room while I slept last night.
& 8am my phone starts going berserk. With one eye open, I'm like oh fuck someone died. Go back to sleep cuz it wasn't the chick so whateverskis.
But then it starts dancing & buzzing again. And it's Jimmy. And he is the kinda guy where if he calls you at 8am on Memorial Day, you're gonna have to answer. Cuz it ain't no joke. Or maybe it is. But it's probably gonna be funny.
But when I groggily skeptically answer, he says Rachel is house sitting at his place and Molson the giant doggie boy had fielded in a possum to the living room and she's freaking out and Jimmy's out of town at least an hour away, Can I help?
Fuck that shit. My dance card is full already. For instance, I had to eat food and play music all day today. There was no margin for error.
And then he pulls the "I would do it for you" card.
So, still drunk from the night before I made the wise choice to grab a big black trash bag and get this over with.
The call came at 8:49am. I was back in my bed at 9:03am.
I wonder if the possum was playing possum. And not really dead.
And I also wonder. I am in fact perplexed, if you had a dead animal on your floor, how far down the list I would be of people to call. Wherever you think I am. Like probably last. That's probably good. I'll find you an exterminator or some shit. I got a credit card.
He was pretty cute though, that little possum.
Don't call me ever again. Ok fine. Call me. But I won't answer. And I'm outta trash bags anyways.

CCHDR Pup of the week, Lazy Bone


Pics from our Memorial Day weekend block party in Venice:


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